I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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