Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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