Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
