You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
