If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
