he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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