she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
