I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
