he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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