My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
