were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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