can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
