Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
