Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
