i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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