My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize