Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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