you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
