who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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