Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
