i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
