Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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