Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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