there were more penises there than on chat roulette
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
