Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
