Can i not drive my cunt home
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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