goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize