gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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