I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who died my cat blue again?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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