I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
