It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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