it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
