the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
