THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
