It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize