Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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