I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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