do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
