found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
