Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
