apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
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why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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