I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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