I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
