i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
