no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
