Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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