Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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