I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
