No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
