Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
