is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He shit in the fireplace
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
