Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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