D3 body, D1 cock
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
