you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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