I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
