I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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