Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
