i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i drank out of a bidet.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
