she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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