I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
