I could have mohawked her pubes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
