Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
