I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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