For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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