Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize