are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
